saturday update

hi y'all xxx

having had time to take in some advice etc from various people, there are a few hurdles that have to manoervered round before I can just move out, but they haven't put me off my ultimate goal, just moved it back slightly.

Our reduced mortgage payment only stands until the end of November and then reverts back to its normal figure plus some on top for the arrears which have accrued. We don't have the option to 'tag them onto the end' etc etc as all avenues have been explored already.

Sarah too has to have a fixed address to be able to be paroled in November, or she will have to stay in until next April, by which time the house would most definately have gone to repossession and I then run the risk of having an even bigger debt to face than what I have now.

So I have bitten the bullet and will not be selling the house just yet, nor moving out. My initial goal was 6 months to a year anyway and I don't see any reason to change that just now. My mini goal at the moment is to get my Debt management plan started on Thursday when I have my phone meeting and to keep the roof over my head until then. My parents, family and I will still continue to tart it up and have a declutter as if its needs doing anyway, why not do it?

Once Sarah is out and back at work, my payout will go down which I can either plough into my debts or stash away as a nest egg for my new place and then when the decision is made, if I have enough, I can hopefully get a solicitor to take my name off the mortgage so again, when I do go, I have no ties with this place at all.

Sarah will then have 2 rooms she can rent out to help her out. I will of course help her work our her financies as I'm nice like that but it will be at a distance, not under the same roof.

Yesterday, I took a day out from reality just for me. I had gone to work in the morning and was okay and on my way to my 2nd house, I felt quite emotional and I called into a friends house where I cried buckets for about 1/2 hour. Then as I sat in her chair, I could feel myself falling asleep and she asked how much sleep I had had since Sunday. Not much I said. So I rang my next 2 clients, rang my parents and asked my dad not to come round and start on the bathroom as I was going home with 2 nytol tablets to get some sleep. I unplugged the phones, turned off the mobile, took my duvet downstairs with a pillow, got a mug of hot chocolate and a sandwich, put on the telly and woke up at 5.30am today. I had been asleep since 1.30pm yesterday afternoon.

So I lost £33 yesterday - in the grand scheme of things, thats not a lot and I have the interview on Tuesday and it wouldn't look good to walk in like the living dead now would it.You can't put a price on sleep - thats how I will see it anyway.So today is another day and I have to get on and go to work today and face some more people but I feel a bit stronger now and I can hear my body saying "thank you for letting me sleep and recouperate"